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THE BEER RATING SYSTEM

Because some movies hit different with a buzz

THE PHILOSOPHY

Not all movies are meant to be watched sober. Some require chemical assistance to follow, others become transcendent experiences with the right buzz. Beers Per Film exists to help you make informed drinking decisions.

We use a dual-axis rating system because "how many beers" is actually two different questions:

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CONFUSION BEERS

How much mental lubrication do you need to follow the plot? Some movies are intentionally complex, others are just poorly edited. Either way, beer helps.

Crystal Clear

Easy Follow

Pay Attention

Some Head-Scratching

Getting Weird

Take Notes

Rewatch Required

Brain Hurts

WTF Is Happening

Pure Chaos

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ENHANCEMENT BEERS

How much better does the movie get with a buzz? Bad movies can become cult classics. Action movies become experiences. This measures the drinking enhancement factor.

Stone Sober

Optional Sip

Light Buzz OK

Casual Drink

Better With Beer

Highly Recommended

Essential Viewing

Peak Experience

Mandatory Drinking

Drunk Only

RATING EXAMPLES

Primer (2004)

🧠 10 / 🎉 4

Engineers made a time travel movie for engineers. The plot is so dense you'll need a flowchart AND beer. But beer alone can't save you.

The Room (2003)

🧠 2 / 🎉 10

Oh hi Mark. The plot is simple (sort of), but the experience becomes legendary with friends and drinks. Mandatory intoxication.

Schindler's List (1993)

🧠 3 / 🎉 0

Some movies deserve your full, sober attention. This is one of them.

RESPONSIBLE DRINKING

Beers Per Film is for entertainment purposes only. Please drink responsibly. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive. If you're going to watch Primer, maybe stick to one beer so you can at least try to follow along.